Hi, I am 43, married, and a mother of 2 beautiful daughters (22 and 18). I have had problems with my finances as long as I can remember. Some days I really feel so overwhelmed by financial responsibilites and it's hurting my marriage. My husband and I do not really fight, but I know (and I feel it by his body language) he is dissapointed in me. We have our own bank accounts because I can't be trusted. I've embarrassed him in the check out line by overdrawing the account we have shared years ago by having his debit card denied at the market. I've costed him his insurance licenses because of my out standing debt.
I have been looking for a long time for some one (like a co-signer) or an instituion to help me barrow enough money to pay off all my debt. My credit is so shot that I can't even help my daughter with any college financial aid. My heart breaks over all of this and I know this is the reason why I lose sleep. For the past 3 months I've been up till the wee hour of the morning before I can fall asleep. It's almost 1am right now. I am a hard worker, a great mom, but not a very good wife. I am afraid that my husband will leave me if I don't take of the finacial whole I am in. I have not blown money on frivilous items. If you would look at me you would see that I put myself last before any of my family.
I'm caring and loving, and I believe in GOD. I pray as much as can and tell GOD that I will leave all my troubles in his hands.....but doesn't GOD help those who help themselves? I can't even afford to help myself. I owe about $10,000.00 or so, maybe a little less than that. If my car were to break down I have no emergency money to have it fixed. I can't buy a new one because of my shotty credit. I have a great job but I don't get paid enough to make it from pay check to pay check.
If there is some one out there that can point me in the right direction on some financial help or planning that would be great. I am an honest person and try to pay my debt back as soon as I can. I am 43 and I don't want to spend the rest of my life having debt. I don't want to take it to the grave and have my family deal with after I'm gone. It is not fair to them.